the judgment seat

This past Sunday was an interesting day in church for me. I met Garrett at the 11:45 service and we sat up towards the front like we always do since he was POD(pastor on duty). Anyway, after worship we took part in the "meet and greet" time like normal. Behind us was sitting a very friendly older couple..not that old..like mid 60's I would say.

After we sat down as Rick was announcing that Kris Allen was on American Idol and everything I decided to turn my phone on silent like all good church-goers do....when suddenly a hand grabs my shoulder and this man is speaking very forcefully into my ear(the old man from behind).

and he said "Unless you’re talking to Jesus on that you need to put that up!! That is disrespectful and it is time to worship!!" Garrett and I were both shocked...we thought the nice old man was going to lean up and whisper some encouraging words in our ears or ask a question. Not at all the case.....clearly.

I was shocked by the way I reacted to this situation....first of all..I felt like I was about five years old, and like I was a completely disrespectful and rebellious kid that needed correcting. On a deeper level, my spirit was kind of crushed, and frustrated. It may seem like an overemotional response to this man's harsh words....but I just couldn't help it. I even started to cry a little...pathetic huh? What was even worse was that I heard nothing that Pastor Rick was preaching about because the whole time I sat there in fear that the old man was going to jump over the seat and chastise me for putting on lotion or my chapstick! Plus, I was just not in the mood to hear anything spiritual after my experience with this man.

After church I was in no mood to hang out and "chat" with people about my weekend. All i wanted to do was go home and be alone, and get out of church as soon as I could. I was really annoyed that this short encounter with this man had caused such a reaction in my spirit.

As I drove home I asked the Lord why in the world I was reacting in this way. What a waste of a perfectly great Sunday morning. What He showed me was invaluable to me.

I've grown up in church my entire life. My parents have always been elders in the church or at least in a position of leadership where everyone knew my last name. I felt accepted, if not important. I rarely walked into church feeling uncomfortable or like the "other." This was the lens through which I saw the church and Christians in general. I was one of them. I never understood why people (believers or unbelievers) judged Christians or church on one bad experience. It seemed juvenile to me that someone would base an opinion off of a single experience.

On Sunday I knew for the first time what that felt like. The emotions that came along with that experience shocked me because I am a fairly un-emotional girl, I feel like I have my head screwed in pretty straight and typically don't take random experiences like that to heart. With that said, I had such a bad taste in my mouth after this experience that I really think if I didn't come from the background that I do, I would have easily walked out of church and maybe never come back. To that church at least. Even though that seems like an overzealous reaction, people do that. People that are not used to church process in ways that are not always rational. As do we all....and sometimes all we have is one chance to show them the love of Christ.

So Sunday I got a little taste of what it could feel like to be the "other" in church. It made me realize that I need to really take advantage of every opportunity that I have with people. Whether inside the church, or outside of the church. It convicted me that as Christians, we need to be known for our extravagant love and acceptance of people instead of what we are against (abortion, homosexuals, blah, blah, blah) our opinions or our judgments. After all, Christ says that it's by our love that the world will know that we are from Him. (John 17)

So thank you, old crazy man, for letting me have that experience. It opened my eyes and allowed me to have a little taste of what people experience when they encounter believers that for whatever reason, have allowed judgement to get in the way of love.